This is some serious laziness. But is that really so bad? The last one if my personal favourite, which one is yours?
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This is how Santa spends his days off. 
Kirk ‘charged’ into the AA meeting on ‘acid’. He thought it would have a ‘positive’ impact on his life but it turned out to be ‘negative’ experience as he just ended up falling ‘flat’ and getting back into old habits due to his ‘powerful’ addiction. He decided go to bed to recharge his batteries and try again tomorrow.
I am so very sorry for all those cheesy puns.
Oh yes, doors that open outwards, such a great idea. One of these doors can be fitted to your own house to help get rid of unwanted guests. 
Well this pretty much sums up most dogs. I remember when I was a kid I asked my Mum why our dog likes to roll in and eat poop. She said it was like perfume to them. “Hi, do you like my Calvin Klein’s poopy ass fragrance?” 